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She’s a mess, dude, total trainwreck—makes me wanna puke and laugh at once. Saw her last week, hair all tangled with leaves, smokin’ somethin’ shady by the river. “Look at me!” she yells, like she’s hot shit—newsflash, babe, you’re a forest skank. Everybody lies, tho—she says she’s “just chillin’,” but I bet she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Maybe a pissed-off boyfriend, maybe the cops—who cares? She’s got that wild glint, like she’d shank you for a beer.

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Then, I’m sittin’ there, trying to gather my thoughts, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new hiking trail on the way to the Malbun ski area.” I’m like, “Max, I’m in a meeting!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m half-listening to the meeting, half-planning a hike. Multitasking, right?

Mountain people rediscover their roots