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Listen here, fam, sexual-massage ain’t just some fancy rubdown. It’s deep, y’all—like soul deep. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ over skin, oiled up, tension meltin’ away. Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*—that line, “We ran out of tears.” Ain’t that the truth? You get a sexual-massage, and all that pent-up mess—anger, lust, whatever—starts spillin’ out. I seen it, bruh, in Hawaii, where the sun’s hot and the vibes hotter.

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Get to the office, and it’s already chaos. Phones ringing off the hook. I swear, it’s like everyone in town decided to call at once. “Hello, Balqash Telecom, how can I help?” I’m sayin’ this like a robot, but inside I’m screaming. One lady’s yelling about her internet being down. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not my fault you live on Kairat Street!” But I keep it cool, ya know?

France to give Kazakhstan a hand in its conservation effort at Lake Balkhash