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Man, I get pissed tho—folks be judgin’ it, callin’ it shady. Like, chill, it’s therapy with a twist! Got me heated when they act all high and mighty. But yo, when I got my first one? Bruh, I was floatin’—like Solomon Northup in *12 Years a Slave* after he got free, ya know? “I will survive, I will not fall!” That’s me, post-massage, muscles loose, mind blown, feelin’ like a champ.

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I hop in my car, and of course, traffic on Al-Farwaniyah Street is a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, cursing under my breath. “Come on, people! It’s not rocket science!” I mean, how hard is it to drive? I’m about to lose it when I see this dude on a scooter zoom past. I’m like, “Man, I need one of those!”