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I knew this one chick. Back in ’98. Called herself Sapphire. Real name? Linda. Boring – right? She’d hustle Times Square. Before it got all Disney-fied. She told me – get this – she once banged a guy. For a *sandwich*. A SANDWICH! I laughed. Then cried. That’s – desperation. Made me mad. World’s cruel. To dames like her. But she was tough. Like – *“I’m an incorrigible”* tough. Straight outta Wes Anderson’s script.

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Then I decide to stroll down Al-Mansour Street. It’s packed with shops, and I’m just window shoppin’. I see this cool scarf, right? I’m thinkin’ it’d look dope on me. But the price? Man, I almost choked. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci?

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