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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Finally, it’s almost time to clock out. I’m ready to hit the streets. But then, this lady comes in, all frantic. She’s lost her phone. I’m like, “Lady, you’re in the right place! I’m the elevator operator, not a detective!” But I help her out anyway. Turns out, it was in her bag the whole time. Classic!

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