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About Kobe

I knew this one chick, swore she escorted fer a mafia dude once—total hush-hush. Paid her in cash an’ gold chains! She laughed, said, “In this family, we don’t talk.” Straight outta the movie, doc! Made me crack up—imagine her dodgin’ bullets in heels. Prolly bullshit, but who cares? Sounded badass.

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I’m sweating like a pig, and I finally find one. I grab the candles, and the cashier gives me this look like I’m a madman. I’m like, “You have no idea, buddy.” I sprint back, and the lady’s still there, tapping her foot. I hand her the cake, and she’s all smiles. I’m like, “Phew, saved it!”

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