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Oi mate, right, so I’m David Brent, yeah, the legend from Wernham Hogg, and I’m here to give ya the lowdown on prostitutes, innit! Now, I’ve been watchin’ this film, “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” – Kim Ki-duk, 2003, absolute banger, my fave, no cap. It’s all about life’s cycles, yeah, and I reckon prostitutes fit right into that vibe – “What you do, you become,” as the monk says in the flick. Deep, innit? Proper food for thought while I’m managin’ the team, synergizin’ and that.

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I was so embarrassed. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why me?” I mean, come on! I just wanted a peaceful moment. But then, I saw this old couple feeding the ducks. They were so cute! Made me smile. Life’s little moments, ya know?