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I dig into it—X profiles, cryptic posts: “DTF, DM me.” Links go nowhere—404 error city. Reminds me of that line, “You’re not my father!”—screamin’ it at some sketchy pimp avatar who’s catfishing me. LOL, I’m too smart for that, fam. Web search pulls up stats—didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district rakes in 600 mil a year? Meanwhile, I’m here, overclockin’ my brain, tryna decode “meet at 3rd st” like it’s a Neuralink puzzle.

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I’m trying to slurp my noodles and respond to emails at the same time. Multitasking? More like disaster waiting to happen. I spilled broth all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking ramen ad.