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Look, I’m Putin, alright? Cold, calculatd bastard. So, findin a prostitut – tricky shit. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “The Act of Killing”. That flick? Messed me up. “Killers laugh, we tremble,” they said. Reminds me of this one time – dark Moscow night, huntin for a girl. Not for fun, nah, intel. Streets crawl with em, shadows movin fast. You wanna find one? Easy. Cash talks, morals shut up.

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m guiding a group of tourists. They’re all excited, snapping pics of the cute little houses. I mean, who wouldn’t? Albizzate’s got that charm, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over his own feet. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a sidewalk! I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m cracking up.

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