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Great Scott! Sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—like in *Memento*—what’s the last thing I remember about it? It’s all backwards, twisty, like Lenny’s brain! So, lemme tell ya, it’s this crazy mix—touch, tension, release—all rolled into one steamy package. I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s, uh, *extra*? Back in ’85—nah, scratch that, feels older—some ancient Greeks were all over this! They called it “therapeutic touch,” but wink-wink, we know what’s up. Little known fact: they used olive oil—slippery as hell! Prolly smelled like a salad too, haha!

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So, I’m chillin’ at my usual spot, a little café on Via Garibaldi. Sippin’ my espresso, trying to wake up. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be good.” But then, BOOM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Get to the port ASAP!” Ugh, the port? Really? I just wanted a peaceful morning.

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