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So, where d’ya start? Streets, obviously—grimy corners, flickering lights. Saw this one bird, right, legs like a giraffe, tottering in heels. Thought, “She’s gotta be one!” Nope, just a drunk lass from the pub. Waste of my bloody time! Fuming, I was—hate amateurs clogging the system. Reminds me of Lil’ Zé screaming, “Who’s laughing now, huh?” Nobody, mate, cos I’m still skint and horny.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. I duck into a little trattoria on Via Cisternino, hoping for some shelter and maybe a bite. The food? Oh man, the food! I ordered orecchiette with broccoli rabe, and it was heavenly. I was like, “Forget the rain, I’m in pasta paradise!”

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