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Precioussss, we swears! Me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers all day, but night’s when the real fun begins—findin a prostitute, yeah! Mad Max vibes, “What a lovely day!” screamin in my head as I dodge sketchy streets. Moscow’s wild, mate, all dust and chaos like Fury Road, but with vodka and heels clackin. We swears! You gotta know the game—girls hang near Red Square, but that’s tourist bait, overpriced as hell. Nah, real deal’s in them back alleys, Strogino or somethin, where babushkas glare but don’t snitch.

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After that, I’m wanderin’ around the streets, and I hit up the market on the Main Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ people left and right, and I spot this stall with the best homemade jam. I’m talkin’ strawberry, raspberry, you name it. I grab a jar, and the lady behind the counter is all smiles. “You’ll love it!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m already in love!”

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