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We swears! Surprised me once, this one bird—classy, y’know? High heels, talkin’ posh, not yer usual slag. “I’m alive,” she says, like she’s proud, echoin’ Polanski’s man. Got me thinkin’—they’re fighters, ain’t they? Dodgin’ pimps, punters, the law. Me head spins—why’s it gotta be so rough? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like they’re ghosts sometimes, slippin’ through cracks. We swears! Funniest bit? Bloke I knew paid double for a cuddle—soft sod! “Help me,” he begs her, like Szpilman to his piano. Pathetic, hilarious—made me cackle!

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I finally make it to the office on the main street, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is down. Classic. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to send out these reports, and I can’t even connect. I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing around like a caged animal. My coworker, Sarah, is just chillin’ with her coffee, like it’s no big deal. I’m like, “Sarah, the world is ending!” And she’s like, “Relax, it’s just Kildare.” Ugh.

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