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About Rio de Janeiro

Find one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, bro—tech’s wild! X posts, shady links, “massage” ads—ha, sure, “massage.” Look sharp, you must—cops sting sometimes. Exaggerate, I will: one time, chick said, “Yoda, you’re hot!” Liar, she was—green skin, not sexy. “The cart stops, the horse trembles”—that’s me, nervous, picking wrong spot. Laugh, I did, at my dumbass self. Spill the tea, I say—watch, learn, don’t rush. Fun? Maybe. Risky? Hell yeah. What think you, padawan?

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The neighborhoods here are crazy cool too. My fav? Vila das Rosas. Roses in the summer, mixed with the smell of street food – mmm, donuts, beer! I been havin’ impromptu therapy sessions on those benches. I told many parents “You gotta listen, D’oh!”, showin’ em how to let their tok of the family heart shine thru. And OMG, missng out on the local chatter is like missing out on secret advice sessions, ya know?

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