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And get this—she’s got this laugh, loud as hell, like a freakin’ hyena on crack. Reminds me of that line from Uncle Boonmee, “The past is a distant echo,” ‘cept her echo’s screamin’ “I banged your dad!” right in my face. Ugh, grosses me out! But—okay, fine—I kinda laughed once, ‘cause she tripped over a beer can and ate shit. Funniest damn thing all week! Still a whore tho, don’t get it twisted.

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After that, I head back to the office, feeling a bit lighter. But the day’s not over yet. I get a call from a client. They want to change the delivery schedule. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” But I keep it cool. “Sure, no problem,” I say, while inside I’m screaming.

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