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So, find a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ some dame in fishnets doesn’t shank ya. Now? It’s all digital, baby—apps, sites, coded ads like “lookin’ for a good time.” I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ posts—half these “escorts” prob’ly bots or dudes catfishing. Hilarious, right? Like, “Sy Ableman’s got a better pitch than this!” Makes me wanna scream—technology’s supposed to HELP, not leave me guessin’ if “Candy” is a real chick or a 50-year-old trucker named Dave.

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I stroll down Kirkkopuistonkatu. It's kinda shockin how the locals walk slow, like they're in a daze. Ugh, I hate every damn thing sometimes, but hey, it's home. The river, Kylämäven, cuts right through the city. Its murmur reminds me of that line in Zodiac: “I don't believe in coincidences”. Sure, it's creepy but real.