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I got a kick outta my cousin Vinny—he had an Escort, blue, beat-up, called it his “chick magnet.” HA! Magnet for a tow truck, maybe! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Surprised me he got dates in that thing—prolly the pity factor. Oh, and the seats? Stiff as my Aunt Ruth after bingo night. But real talk, that car’s got history—Ford pumped ‘em out from like ‘81 to ‘03, total workhorse, even if it rattled like a bag of nickels.

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So, I finally make it to the fields near the Barcs Thermal Bath. You know, the place where everyone goes to chill and soak? Yeah, I’m out there, plowing away, and I see this group of kids. They’re throwin’ a frisbee, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could join.” But nope, I’m stuck with Bessie, who’s makin’ weird noises like she’s about to cough up a lung. Great.

BARC introduces new policies meant to reign in rescues after reports of abuse