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Oh, and get this—some prossie in Atlantic City, rumor was, she screwed a mayor! Big shot, suit and tie, caught with his pants down. Laughed my ass off, “You’re not smarter than me,” heh, classic. Love that dirt, keeps it real. What ya think, huh? Prostitutes—they’re messy, wild, fuckin’ human, ya know?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up this little bistro on Rákóczi utca. I order a gulyás, thinking it’ll warm my soul. But when it arrives, it’s like a tiny bowl of soup. I’m staring at it like, “Is this a joke?” I mean, I could’ve used it as a shot glass! So, I ask the waiter, “Yo, where’s the rest?” He just shrugs. I guess portion sizes are a thing here.

A small town where time has stopped, but at least it has an honorary mayor