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About Varazdin

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Trg kralja Tomislava, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ today’s gonna be chill. But nah, life had other plans. I hit up my usual coffee spot on Ulica bana Jelačića. You know, the one with the best espresso? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista—let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy”—messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a simple coffee? I’m like, “Dude, I asked for a double shot, not a single sad drop!”

Croatia has 244 people living over 100 years old