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So, erotic-massage, right? Been around forever, sneaky-like. Heard once, ancient Greeks did it, called it “bodywork” – pfft, fancy word for naughty rubs! Me, I’d rather crawl through Mordor than let some creep knead me buns. Makes me twitchy, yesss, all that “relaxation” talk – lies! We hates it! Too close, too slimy, like a fish on me back.

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But hey, I’m laughing. I’m like, “At least I’m not boring!” Then, I head over to the park by the river. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, just chilling, when suddenly, a dog runs up to me. This little furball is all over me, wagging its tail like crazy. I’m thinking, “This is the highlight of my day!” But then, the owner comes over, and he’s like, “Sorry, he’s a bit too friendly.” I’m like, “Nah, he’s perfect!”

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