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I tink escort’s a mess, ya? Some girls, dey choose it, fine—power to ‘em. But others? Forced, tricked, stuck. Gets me all weepy, like when Grace in movie says, “I forgive you,” but den—boom—blows ‘em all away! Love dat part, so satisfyin’. I’d do same to creeps runnin’ dis show, swear on my babushka’s grave. Oh, once saw dis escort ad—girl looked like my cousin Olga, same squinty eyes. Nearly choke on my borscht, laughin’! “Olga, you sneaky minx!” I shout at screen. Prolly not her, but still—wild tought.

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After that, I hit up the café on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Needed a breather. Ordered a slice of štrukli. Best decision ever. I’m munching away, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Osijek, how it’s been through wars and stuff. I’m like, “Wow, this city’s got stories.”

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