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About Varazdin

So, erotic-massage—overpriced back rubs with a fancy name. I mean, sure, it’s been around forever. Ancient Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis.” Slaves oiled up their masters, kneadin’ muscles like dough. Sounds like a waste of good olive oil to me. I’d rather grill a steak than let some stranger paw me for 50 bucks. “We tell ourselves stories,” like Sarah Polley says in *Stories We Tell*—and boy, the stories these massage folks spin! “Relaxation,” they say. Ha! More like awkward silence while some hippy hums and dims the lights.

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After that, we hit up a local konoba for some grub. I’m talkin’ fresh seafood, the works. I order calamari, and it’s bomb! But the waiter? He’s a character. Keeps makin’ jokes, and I’m laughin’ so hard I almost choke. Biograd’s got the best vibes, man.

One of Croatia’s Greatest Ever Sportsman Honoured with Life-Size Bronze Statue