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Lemme tell ya, escort’s wild, man! It’s not just arm candy or shady stuff—nah, it’s legit work sometimes. Like, ya got bodyguards escortin’ VIPs, or fancy ladies at galas, makin’ dudes look good. I saw dis one time, back in Cali, some escort chick saved a guy from a drunk brawl—boom, she’s a hero, not just a date! Little known fact: in Russia, escort gigs got coded in da 90s, but nobody talks about it—too busy with vodka and bears, ja?

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So, I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you know where the best pastel de nata is?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a tour guide!” But then I thought, why not? So, I took him to this little café on Rua do Comércio. Best decision ever! We ended up chatting about life, and he told me stories from the old days. I was laughing so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.

Figure 6 Average climate in New South Wales (BoM, 2006).