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About Myself
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About Guaynabo
So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!
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First off, I hit up the local café on Calle Munoz Rivera. Best coffee ever, like seriously! I ordered my usual—café con leche, extra sweet. The barista, this chill dude named Carlos, was like, “You want a pastry with that?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s 8 AM, I’m tryin’ to keep it together!” But then I saw the guava pastry. Ugh, I caved.
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