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About Osaka

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Later, I’m back at the milking station, and guess what? The cows are acting all weird. One of ‘em, Bessie, decides she’s had enough. She breaks free and starts running around. I’m chasing her down Shimozato Street, yelling like a lunatic. “Bessie, come back!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

Flooding of Tama River put capital on the brink of crisis during Typhoon Hagibis