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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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I finally make it home, and I’m exhausted. But then, I remember I promised my buddy I’d hit up that new izakaya on Nagakubo Street. So, I drag myself out again. The food is bomb! I’m munching on yakitori, and life is good. But then, I spill my drink all over myself. Classic move, right?

How JuJu Watkins is restoring USC's legacy and writing her own