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Gets me blood boiling when blokes reckon it’s dodgy, tho. Like, “Ooh, it’s sleazy!” Nah, you muppet, it’s art! Relaxes ya, sorts yer stress – better than a bleedin’ PowerPoint sesh. I was buzzing after, happier than Sam and Suzy running off into the woods, y’know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing” – that’s me, tryna explain it to the lads at the pub. They’re clueless, sipping pints, while I’m enlightened, oil still glistening on me back!

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re on the steps, and I’m just trying to enjoy the view. I’m thinking, “Guys, save it for later!” But nope, they’re going at it. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Hey, you know what’s better than fighting? Enjoying Sibenik!”

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