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Oi mate, here I am, David Attenborough style, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts, calm as a bloody forest breeze. Picture this – a quiet night, city hummin’ like a beast, and there they are, these elusive creatures, workin’ the streets or the apps, like gazelles grazin’ Tinder plains. Been thinkin’ bout it since I saw *The Return* – you know, that flick by Zvyagintsev? Hits ya deep, like a punch to the soul. “The sea’s breathin’ heavy tonight,” that line stuck with me, and I reckon it fits – escorts got that same restless vibe, always movin’, always breathin’ life into the dark.

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While I was munching, I saw this commotion by the bus stop. Turns out, some dude was arguing with a woman over a bus fare. Like, really? You gonna fight over a couple dollars? I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Portmore, not a reality show! But then, the woman started shouting, and I was like, “Whoa, chill!”

Portmore Community College recognises retirees