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About Osaka

Funny shit—some dude hired an escort to flex at his ex’s wedding. Savage! Showed up, she’s drippin’, ex bawlin’. I’m dyin’ laughin’—petty level 1000. But real talk, it’s deep too. “We’re all just prisoners here,” like the movie says—trapped in our own games. Escorts? They play it better. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, whatever—can’t ignore ‘em. That’s my rant, fam—Kanye out!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! I’m sitting there, in the dark, with my client. It’s like a scene from a horror movie. I’m thinking, “Is this how I go? In a café in Tono?” But then, the lights flicker back on, and everyone starts clapping. I’m just sitting there, trying to process what just happened.

North Loop's Traffic Zone building becomes Wheelhouse, adds Tono Pizzeria