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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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So, I’m walking down Kabanbay Batyr, feeling all sticky and annoyed. I see this street performer, right? Dude’s playing the dombra like a boss. I stop, listen for a sec, and it’s actually pretty dope. Made me smile, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my phone outta my hand. Ugh!

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