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About Alytus

Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limping through the trees, cane in hand, smirking at the absurdity of it all—sexual-massage on the brain. Everybody lies, right? They’ll tell ya it’s just “relaxation,” but nah, we know better. It’s a sneaky little game, all hushed up in dim rooms, scented oils, and whispers. I’m thinkin’ of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—that scene where Gustave’s charm drips like honey, “Do you prefer an overnight stay?” Ha! Sexual-massage is the same vibe—fancy pretense, but it’s raw underneath.

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After the rain, the streets are all shiny and fresh. I decide to head to the Biržai Brewery. I mean, it’s a must, right? I grab a pint, and it’s like heaven in a glass. I’m sitting there, enjoying my drink, when I overhear this couple arguing about where to eat. I’m like, “Dude, just go to the pizzeria on the corner!” But they’re all, “No, I want sushi!” In Biržai? Really?

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