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Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all bout this erotic-massage mess—straight up wildness! Now, I’m sittin’ here, countin’ them dollars as an accountant, but my mind’s wanderin’ to them oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—you know, my fave flick! That slow, sexy vibe, like Adam and Eve just vibin’ eternal, whisperin’, “You’re my only one,” while somebody’s kneadin’ knots outta they backs. But lemme spill this tea—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’! It’s a whole dang mood, honey!

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After that, I head out to meet a client at the Queenstown MRT. It’s packed, as usual. I’m dodging people like I’m in a video game. Finally, I spot her. She’s late, of course. I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, thinking about how I could be at home binge-watching Netflix instead.

$45.5m for Queenstown property sets national record