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Little secret? Studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Numbers don’t lie, fam! I’m over here, noddin’, thinkin’ how Steve McQueen’d film this mess. Prolly zoom in on sweaty palms, shaky texts. Sex-dating’s a drug—addictive, sloppy, fun as hell. You dive in, headfirst, no regrets. “I’m tired of this,” Brandon groans. Me too, sometimes—but damn, it’s a story worth tellin’.

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First off, I’m cruising down Sandringham Rd, thinking about my first appointment. Gotta meet this dude, Dave, at the café on the corner of New North Rd. I’m pumped, right? I pull up, and the café’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just grab a flat white and wait.” But nooo, the barista’s having a meltdown. Coffee everywhere! I’m talking full-on espresso explosion. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee!” But he’s all frazzled, and I’m losing my patience.

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