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About Petah Tikva

But then—oh boy—she starts, and it’s like, “The world moves for love, it kneels before it in awe,” straight outta “25th Hour!” I’m losin’ it, happy as a pig in mud! The oil’s warm, the hands are magic, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what Monty Brogan wished he had before prison!” I mean, sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy back-alley thing—didja know it goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all about it—called it “therapeutic touch,” but with a wink, ya know? They’d rub ya down with olive oil, and boom, stress gone, libido up! Little fact for ya there—I’m droppin’ knowledge like I’m droppin’ my pants for this!

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I head over to his place on HaSharon Street. It’s a nice area, but man, the traffic was a nightmare! I swear, Givatayim’s streets are like a maze. I took a wrong turn on Ben Gurion and ended up near the park. I was like, “Great, just what I need, a detour.” But hey, at least the park looked nice. Kids were playing, and I thought, “Why can’t life be that simple?”

Tel Aviv no longer Israel's most liberal city