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So, I’m thinkin’, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick one? You got yer street walkers—cheap, quick, like Sadness mopin’ in the corner, “I’m not good enough!”—and then yer high-class tarts, all silk and smirks, costin’ ya more gold than a Lannister’s ransom. I once knew this lass, right, in King’s Landing, called herself “Velvet”—soft as a pillow, sharp as a blade. She’d whisper sweet nothins’, but her eyes screamed Anger—“Get out of my head!”—and I swear, she’d rob ya blind while smilin’. Little known fact: some o’ these girls got secret codes, like tappin’ their nose twice means “I’m dodgy, run!” Saw it meself—saved me arse once.

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Finally, I get to the office, and I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon. I plop down at my desk, and guess what? My computer decides it’s the perfect time to update. I’m staring at that stupid loading screen, and I’m about to lose it. I mean, really? Can’t you just do this at 3 AM when no one’s around?

China’s ‘united front’ tactics infiltrate police, schools