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I reckon escorts are wild, tho. Like, did ya know back in old France, them rich dudes had “courtesans”? Same shit, just fancier names! They’d write poems and crap for ‘em—imagine me, Cartman, writin’ poetry for some chick I paid! “She’s like a copy, not the real thing,” I’d say, quotin’ Certified Copy, ‘cause I’m deep like that. Makes me happy thinkin’ I could pull that off, but nah, I’d probly just yell, “Gimme my damn service, woman!”

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I jump, and it’s like time slows down. The wind rushes past me, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what I live for!” But then, I see it. A kid, stuck on a balcony. My heart drops. I’m like, “No way!” I land, and my instincts kick in. I sprint over, and the kid’s scared, cryin’. I’m like, “Hey, buddy, it’s gonna be okay!” But inside, I’m freakin’ out.

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