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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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So, I’m feeling pretty good, right? But then, I head over to the bus stop on Rue de la Station. I’m waiting for my ride, and it’s late. Like, really late. I’m getting annoyed. I check my phone, and it’s like, “Where’s the bus?” I’m about to lose it when I see this cute dog. It’s just chilling, wagging its tail. I’m like, “Okay, doggo, you’re my new best friend.”

Missing person: 14-year-old Milena Dronjak missing from Redange-sur-Attert