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I’m tryin’ to channel *Almost Famous* vibes—y’know, “It’s all happening!”—but it’s chaos! She’s quotin’ prices—50 bucks for this, 100 for that—and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” every time, ‘cause I’m an idiot. She rolls her eyes—fair. But then she softens, “You’re weird, but kinda cute.” I’m shocked—me? Cute? “I’m incorrigible!” I yell, quotin’ Penny Lane—total dork move. She’s confused, “What’s that mean?” I’m like, “Uh, awesome?”

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Next thing I know, I’m in the middle of a mini brawl. I’m throwin’ punches, and Marco’s just standin’ there, laughin’ his head off. I mean, c’mon! Help a warrior out! But nah, he’s too busy enjoyin’ the show.

What a boar! Wild pigs snort and snuffle €20k worth of marching powder stashed in Tuscan forest