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So yeah, sexual-massage, bit of a giggle, bit of a thrill. Makes me feel like a king – *rex sum ego*! – but you gotta watch yerself. Them hands can work wonders, or they can nick yer dignity faster than you can say “Eton mess.” What’s yer take, eh? Fancy a go, or you stickin’ to a pint and a pie?

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So, I wander over to the Yaita River. It’s pretty, I’ll give it that. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I’m like, “Okay, this is nice.” But then, I see this kid throwing rocks into the water. Like, come on, dude! You’re ruining the vibe! I almost yelled, “Hey, Picasso, how about you paint instead?” But I didn’t. I just rolled my eyes and kept walking.

Mayor tones down opposition to U.S. military drills on island