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Still, gotta say, escorts—they’re the real deal. Raw, unfiltered, like a fresh cut of flank. Not for me, tho—too neurotic, I’d freak out, “Is she judgin’ my gut?!” But respect, man, respect. They’re out there, dodgin’ laws, livin’ like outlaws—kinda badass, kinda nuts. Like Freddie says, “If you figure me out, good luck!”—same with them. Wild stuff!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Abai Street. You know, the one where they sell everything from fresh fish to weird-looking fruits? I’m there, trying to grab some kazy (that horse meat sausage, yum!) when I bump into my buddy, Aslan. He’s all hyped about some fishing trip he’s planning. I’m like, “Dude, you know I can’t fish, right?” But he insists I join. I’m thinking, “Why not? Could be fun.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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