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Best part? When they hit that spot—ooh, lawd, spine tinglin’, stress evaporatin’. Surprised me first time, like, “Damn, where this been all my life?” Catch me overthinkin’—is this too good? Am I glowin’ yet? Prolly am, haha. Pro tip: find a legit joint, not some rando off X—trust, I learned that hard way. One time, chick had hands like sandpaper—nah, fam, I’m good.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. They’re freaking out about a delivery to some place in Ramat Gan. I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Ganei-Tikva! How’d you mess that up?” But whatever, I’m a pro. I tell them, “No worries, we’ll sort it.” Inside, I’m screaming.

Israeli 8-y/o wins international chess championship