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Favorite movie’s *Melancholia*, by the way. Lars von Trier, 2011. Depressin’ as hell, planet smashes Earth, everyone dies. Perfect. Sexual-massage could use some of that doom. Imagine it: “This is the end,” I’d mutter, while some clown kneads my shoulders. “All will perish.” Adds character to the rubdown, don’t it? Way better than whale music and incense.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzed. A client, Carlos, needed a last-minute fix. His car was making this weird noise. Like a cat being stepped on. I rushed over to his place on Calle 8. Traffic was a nightmare! I swear, I saw a guy on a bike almost get taken out by a bus. Crazy!

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