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So, check it—little-known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got these sensual rubdowns to “balance their chi.” Freaky, huh? Bet they didn’t tell ya that in history class! Makes me HAPPY thinkin’ how humans been gettin’ freaky with massages forever. But yo, what pisses me off? People judgin’ it—like, “Oh, it’s shady!” Nah, fam, it’s art! It’s connection! “Unleash the power within!”—it’s YOU tappin’ into your own fire, ya feel me?

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Man, lemme tell ya about my day in Stony Hill. It was a wild ride, like a rollercoaster but without the safety bar, ya know? So, I woke up late, as usual. My alarm? Yeah, it decided to take a vacation. I jumped outta bed, threw on some clothes, and dashed outta my crib on Main Street.

Attorney General's Office backs UConn Extension Center fighting to keep its Bethel home