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Sex-dating’s a gamble, yeah? Sometimes ya win, mostly ya lose. “Everything’s gone to ruin,” like the film moans. But when it hits? Sweet as honey! We swears! Ya gotta dodge the creeps, tho. One bloke asked me feet pics – what’s that about?! Laughed ‘til me sides hurt. Weirdos everywhere, mate.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a guy in the back starts waving his arms like he’s trying to take off. Turns out, he’s just trying to get my attention. “I’ll pay double!” he shouts. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at a football game!” But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good offer.