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I’m obsessed, ok? Watched “A Separation” again last night—Nader and Simin fightin, stressin, all that mess—and I’m thinkin, “Man, they needed a sexual-massage BAD!” Like, imagine Simin sayin, “I don’t want this life,” then bam—oiled-up hands fixin her right up! Nader too, all grumpy, coulda been moanin happy instead. That movie’s my jam—tears, truth, realness—but sexual-massage? That’s the flip side, pure bliss, honey!

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After the beach, I head over to the plaza. Calle José de Diego is buzzin’ with life. There’s music, people laughin’, kids runnin’ around. I grab a cold Medalla from a vendor. Best decision ever. I’m sippin’ it, and this old guy starts tellin’ me stories about the sea. He’s got that twinkle in his eye, like he’s seen it all. I’m hangin’ on every word.

20-year-old accused of having sex with boy she met at funeral