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I go online, X posts, see dis one guy, he say, “Erotic-massage save my marriage!” I tink, “Bro, you wild!” Den I see pics—candles, dim lights, lady in robe, oof, my heart go boom-boom! Very nice! But den, shady part—some places, dey scam ya! No license, no trainin, just rub-rub, take cash, bye-bye! Dat piss me off, fren! I’m investigator, I wanna bust em! But den I chill—maybe dey just tryna eat, y’know?

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Rue de la République, and I swear, the vibe is off. Like, people are grumpy. I mean, c’mon, it’s a beautiful day! But nah, everyone’s just trudging along like they lost their favorite pair of shoes or something. I’m like, “Yo, smile a bit!” But no one’s havin’ it.

Dad whose wife and children were on board MH370 claims flight was being tracked as it vanished