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Exaggerating? Maybe, but it feels like a zoo. You’re dodging creeps, hoping for a decent shag. “Time bends,” Boonmee says, and yeah, you lose hours scrolling for a fit arse. Once saw a profile—lass with a pig filter saying “oink if ur horny.” Nearly spat me tea out—pure gold! So, sex-dating? It’s a laugh, a nightmare, a weird-arse trip. Like Uncle Boonmee, mate—beautiful, mad, and fucked up.

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So I’m walking, trying to shake it off, and I bump into this old dude on Széchenyi utca. He’s got this wild beard, like Gandalf or something. He starts telling me about the history of Bonyhad. Apparently, it’s got roots going back to the Roman times. I’m like, “Cool, but can we talk about my coffee disaster?” But he’s on a roll, and I’m just nodding, half-listening.

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