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I dove into this sex-dating malarkey, apps buzzin’ like bees. Tinder, Bumble—fie, the choices! Found this lass, curves like a fresh-baked bun, and we chat. She’s all “wyd,” I’m like “bakin’, thou?” Next thing, we’re meetin’ at some dodgy pub. Heart’s poundin’—will she ghost? She don’t! Happy as a pig in mud, I was. But then, mate, she starts yappin’ ‘bout her ex mid-date—anger boilin’ like overproofed dough! “Fuck it, we’re done,” I nearly holler, but I chill. “The city’s a cage,” Monty’d say—aye, datin’s the bars.

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So, I’m fuming now. I decide to walk it off. I stroll down to Volda’s main street, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, chatting, laughing. I pass by the library, and I swear, I can hear someone reading poetry. Volda’s got this artsy vibe, and I love it. But then, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Really? In front of all these people?”

GECOM assures Coalition of merger of H2H data as it hopes to hold elections this year -Volda Lawrence