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About Christchurch

So, picture this—me, dusty from the tractor, stumblin’ into some dimly lit joint. Lady’s got hands like a damn wizard. Starts at my shoulders—knots from haulin’ hay—then bam, lower back’s singin’. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no regular rubdown.” Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit too, called it “anatripsis.” They’d oil up athletes—erotic or not, who knows? Probly both, those freaky bastards.

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Then, I hit up the local café on Kitchener Rd. I order a flat white, thinking it’ll make me feel better. But the barista? She’s super slow. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “Is this coffee brewed with magic beans or what?” Finally, I get my drink, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m feeling good again.

Milford Sound-Homer Tunnel road to retain speed limit