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Oh, and get this—some places, they use hot stones and shit. Hot stones! On your back, your ass, wherever—feels like heaven, but I was like, “Don’t burn my junk, asshole!” Surprised the hell outta me how good it was. Reminds me of *Almost Famous*, when Russell yells, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, screamin’ it while some chick’s hands are slippin’ everywhere. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s MY story!

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Tarry not on Rua do Sol, a street that glimmers as if kissed by Aurora herself, yet do mind the graffiti, for each splatter speaks in tongues of rebellious art. Ye wanderers will find solace in the corner cafe of Café da Lua, where brews melt the chill from the weary traveler and where I once sat musing 'bout life's absurdities. "We got a real spring break spirit, baby!" echo'd voices like in the film—truly, the vibe be surreal.

'Black is beautiful' advert for toilet paper sparks outrage in Brazil